Essential Relationships

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

How do you conceive of your essential/soul Self? Feel into the possibilities: does it float above you?, hang out behind you?, live deep in your heart? or perhaps a bit of all of these and more?

Do you think of Self as being “outside” in some sense, ie. slightly other? What about your felt experience is more “inside”? Whatever you notice is a place to start exploring, connecting more to your Self. Notice if you are in relationship with it, or (at least at times) you are it and it is you!

As we evolve towards a more direct awareness of our essential Selves, your experience may change. From identifying with our human selves, located in our physical bodies, reaching “out” or “up” or “in” to find our essential Selves, we start to form a relationship, not because it is really “other” but because we are still identified mostly with our human self. As this shifts and we experience being our essential Self as well as our human self, the experience of relationship shifts, we can identify with both sides. With practice, and perhaps some grace, you come to experience these two aspects of who you are as one Being, woven together.

You have a right side and a left side to your physical body. Have you ever thought/felt into each of these? We usually breath through one nostril or the other, and if you check in you will find that you are mostly feeling one side or the other. With practice you can learn to inhabit either side, though they may feel different, or even to blend them into a whole, fully alive and conscious body. So also with your human and essential selves.

Most of us, identifying with our human self, have relationships with other people on this level, playing human roles that we tend to identify with: parent and child, teacher and student, lover and lover, leader and follower. However it is the essential Selves and Souls that animate the relationship, that determine the quality of it, as opposed to the form. Without this animation we are like actors on stage, who bring nothing of themselves to their roles, but simply mouth the words or even come into conflict over the proper details of the form, and our relationships are lifeless or worse painful.

Your essential Self is always with you, woven through the fabric of who you are, and with consciousness and acknowledgement animates whatever you do with the properties of the Soul. There is a level of Self that is present in all relationships with other humans. As we learn to identify more with our own essential Self, we become aware more consciously that there is always another Self on the other side of any relationship we engage in, including not just personal relationships, but work relationships and casual social interactions across a checkout counter at the store.

As human beings we work hard at our relationships, defend their forms, compete for control, occasionally learn to play with them, but usually take them seriously, as they define who we are.

As essential Beings we know that there is always a relationship of Selves, wrapped around and woven through each human relationship. We honor and connect with the other Self, whatever the roles are that we are playing. They take place within the container of this Spirit connection, which holds the space within which our human selves play out their roles. This has a great power to ease the human relationships, to facilitate accomplishing something, or just enjoying the dance.

Your essential Self is whole, connected, and certain. Its sense of well being is independent of what role it is playing, who is winning or losing, or any other human level of judgement or attachment. Partnered with another whole, connected, and certain Self, you are co-creating a play or dance of Selves. The exact form or outcome of the play is not as important as the quality of Self-participation which opens the door for inspiration, creativity and magic. Spirit has space to come and co-create with you now, transforming all your relationships to another level.

(© 8/2013)

This entry was posted in Articles, Metaphysics, Relationships, Spiritual Process. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *