Sitting, recently, on a low wall along the edge of a small bridge, trees surround us, hanging out over the stream in front of us. Water flows out from under our dangling feet, rushing off, swirling white, through the green branches.
My beloved is helping me explore the uncomfortable feeling that I often have with a bit of height, that I might fall, or fly out into the empty space in front of me. The trees are filling much of that space, but the rush of the water is almost physically tugging on me and my eyes keep moving away in it.
I ground myself into the earth, but my grounding cord also seems to get swept along, before snapping back, over and over. This produces a quite ungrounded, floating, feeling. I focus my grounding, while intending that the water moves freely through it, and come back down again.
I explore how to sit solidly in place, grounded in the earth below and let the water energy flow freely through me. The dolphin in me wants to play in the stream, so I give it permission, but stay present on the bridge. The deep tension between sitting still and moving forward into the world comes to physical awareness. There is a lot of change around me right now, family getting ready to move, and myself making space for changes. This new moon has been a time of releasing old things to make room for new.
I ask my Being to show me how to hold both parts of this duality. I feel into each fear that comes in the crucible of this tension and breath it out, releasing the attachment or resistance that sweeps me along, coming back to my seat on the concrete. My body relaxes and allows the requested integration to happen.
The next day, sitting on my porch eating breakfast with my beloved, I notice that part of me is itching to be doing things. We often sit and enjoy the sky, the birds, being present with each other before starting our day. Today this is harder for me. I reach inside for yesterday learning about integrating sitting still and being present, allowing the busy part to flow by, but not giving it my attention yet.
The feeling is very similar to yesterday’s feeling of letting the water flow around me without getting caught up in it. I find my core while breathing into any fears that demand I engage before I choose to. Without resisting the rushing, I allow the world to be outside of me, until I choose to dive into it and start that dance again.
Wanting to have more ease with the feeling of being caught up in a world that is rushing away with you, perhaps you can find a place to sit above, or next, to rushing water. Notice where you feel that pull in your being and breath in relaxation and spaciousness. Make friends with the uncomfortable edge of the tension, and come back to the core of Self that is unaffected, without having to resist.
Spirit brings interesting lessons in simple ways, teaching us deeper things. The stream and my beloved have shown me very clearly how either resistance or attachment will unground me, perhaps at the same time, allowing me to be caught up in the rush of the world. Experiencing the felt sense, it is easier to recognize the pull of life’s flow now, so I can release the my fears, and engage it only when and as I choose.
(© 7/2015)
