There is a horse that I have been learning to ride. She is much larger and stronger than I am and although she lets me lead her when I’m riding, I know that if she really wants to take charge there’s not a lot I can do about it. Last week on a nice day, after weeks of snow and cold, she was wanting to move faster than I felt comfortable with. Its been a while and I hesitated to let her go, not trusting what might happen. Although I’m still learning to ride her, she is unlikely to do anything that would hurt herself or me. Not out of pure high spirits.
Later I realized that life feels a bit like this right now. Spirit seems ready to move through me more intensely. Creative energies, healing energies, life force and love, all wanting to channel into the world.
I’ve been asking for this, courting Spirit more consciously; the white light of Truth; the power of Love; the healing energies that come through my hands when I work. And yet unless I trust my higher aspects, my guides and Source, my mind will try to hold on, to control the flow.
My human aspects believe they have to do something with these increased energies. Perhaps its the usual program that they are supposed to be in charge, that they have to figure things out or design the new forms. Perhaps its due to fear of the power and a need to control it, slow it down.
So rather than having Spiritual energies flow gracefully through me, aspects of resistance bottle them up, slow them down, creating friction and heat. Wanting to consciously create the new forms reigns it in until I can figure out the design. It all shows a lack of trust in Spirit and my higher Self, those very beings that I have been asking to help me, to teach me.
Resistance generates physical heat in my body, especially at places that the energy is constricted or held back, like the ankles and wrists. The sense of holding on – holding on to reigns, or to control, to what is known and therefore safe, even when I really want that something new – shows up as tension and stiffness in my arms.
These energies are not going away. Spirit has a lot of work for us to do in the world these days and I have said yes to that. I set intention to open myself and let them flow through; to release the need to know what the creative energies will do, or where they will lead me. When they channel smoothly there is less resistance and less heat; less tension and less soreness.
Sometimes these energies will take specific forms. Other times they just need a channel into the world. It feels as if Spirit is wanting to manifest more strongly into Life, for all of us, not for me in particular. More Love, more creativity, more healing.
When my ego tries to take over there is effort, and it is hard on the body. This ride with Spirit may be as scary at times as any horse, and yet I remember that I have invoked it and that Spirit is more conscious than I am. So I cultivate relaxation and letting go of a tight grip, while staying present and aware.
When you’ve called and Spirit wants to move through, ask for grace and trust it. Open to wonder and possibility and surrender the reigns to the Divine.