by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys
Have you ever had the experience of wanting something and being anxious about it showing up. Then, when it comes in sight, you become excited only to have it fade away again? It might have been a job, a house, a relationship. Perhaps you got what you wanted, only to have the excitement fade over time and the anxiety return. This time it went well, but what about next time?
Several years ago after a past life regression session that had gone well, I felt the need to relax, ground, and recharge. I went for a walk along Boulder Creek. Standing on one of the bridges over the creek, looking down into the water I felt myself drop into a deep calm place inside. The level of ego or mind that experiences excitement was quiet and I felt myself standing in a place of certainty, of graceful being.
I knew that being excited over something that had gone well was the other end of the polarity that feared it might not. Excitement, as I usually experience it, is only the relief that something feared has not happened. Standing on the bridge I was in a deeper place underneath the excitement, and the fear, where neither one existed, and out of which they both arise; as the waves on the surface of a lake disturbed by the wind. A deeper place of certainty that simply is, independent of what did or did not happen in the world, or my interactions with it. A deeper level of Self.
In walking a spiritual path we learn to step out of, or into, our fears. To work through them, expand beyond them, let them go, or give them space. We know that when they arise we can loose our sense of self, our balance and our space, and we slowly learn how to gain these back again. We may learn how fear can block our hopes, our ability to manifest or to receive, but what about our excitement?
When we get what we want, it seems a natural thing to become excited. It is good to have gratitude, to validate oneself, to find joy and happiness. But the excitement of the ego is none of these. It is just as ungrounded as the anxiety out of which it grows. It takes us out of the present and into the future, planning what comes next, how all our dreams will grow out of one accomplishment. Ego excitement can also take you beyond simple self-validation, so you think that “you” have “done” it all, that you have created it all by yourself. We are always in co-creation with Spirit, and remembering gratitude for this is the best place to continue to create from. Taking you out of your center excitement takes you out of your power. It is not sustainable, not grounded in that deep stillness within, and the dream can fade again. Like Icarus we fly high into the Sun only to melt and crash back to Earth.
It is only in the present that dreams unfold and are walked into actuality. Excitement takes you out of the present and away from the place where your creativity operates, just as much as anxiety or fear. When you are rooted in your Self there is a power and knowing that will fuel your manifestation to levels that the fearful ego can never match. When you remember that the universe works with you to manifest your dreams there is nothing that cannot be accomplished.
The next time you feel the excitement of accomplishment, check in to see if you are relating to it from that deep place inside, where you are already certain and whole. Have gratitude and validate yourself. But if you find the nervous energy of adrenal driven excitement, breath deep and drop back into your Self. Call in joy and certainty and finish manifesting your dream from that space before you have drifted away on the winds of ego imaginings and loose your dream as well as your Self.
(© 2/2011)
